We caught up with Fate Under Fire following the release of his most personal track yet: 'Flicker'. We asked for 5 songs that Fate Under Fire loved, but with the deeply emotional themes in 'Flicker,' we've gone down a slightly different route... Take a therapeutic journey with Fate Under Fire with 5 sorrowful songs.
"I think most of us mould songs to fit our lives when we hear them if enough lyrics hit the heart. My mom’s cancer and death obviously messed me up deeply. Going through all these songs actually made me realize I have what is called “complicated grief”. It was like bam bam bam, each song one after another. You didn’t ask me to do sad songs, but it was meant to happen. Thank you for this exercise. Not all my songs are about this, but this latest song is, so here are songs that surround grief and really trigger me."
Make sure to check out Fate Under Fire's new release 'Flicker'
Sara Barriellas - She Used To Be Mine:
The song starts off saying 'I'm not who I was anymore.’ I’m a very changed person since the whole ordeal. I had to grow up fast. The chorus goes on to say “She is messy, but she’s kind. She is lonely, most of the time. She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie, she is gone but she used to be mine” This just describes my mom so well. A single mother who struggled constantly with depression laying in bed for days and sometimes weeks. I even found baking company cards recently “Mary Kay’s Cakes" Snow Patrol - Run:
The first line goes “Ill sing it one last time for you” I sang a song at her funeral. It was a mess. When the chorus hits, it reminds me of how when my mom was struggling with cancer she just wanted me to be ok. “Light up, light up, as if you have a choice, even if you can not hear my voice, I’ll be right beside you dear.” I was listening to this song when she was sick and something was telling me I needed to hear it. I'm listening to this song bawling right now. Damn it guys. Lord Huron - The Night We Met:
It just has such a perfect build in the beginning. The vintage vibes they bring in, catalyze instant nostalgia for me. I just love the line “I had all and then, most of you, some and now none of you.” I can’t even say what this song makes me think about, because I’m probably just feeling instead. “I don't know what I'm supposed to do haunted by the ghost of you’… such a simple and great line. U2 - One Step Closer:
When she was diagnosed and going through chemo, I had U2’s “how to dismantle an atomic bomb’ in my car. I was fasting a lot and changed my whole life. We went to Medjugorje in Bosnia hoping for a miracle, where the Virgin Mary is said to be seen and talks to people. We knew we were against a 95% chance of her dying within a few years. I spent every night researching alternative cancer therapies, we tried some rigorously. Her numbers were going down, I met a priest making a deal with God that if he healed her, I’d become a priest, saw sparks behind people, was in prayer all the time. I saw spirits, it was a very very immersive part of my life. “One step closer to knowing” if she was going to make it is how I interpreted it." I’ll know soon, I’ll know soon” was what I got out of that song, but it has a rolling melancholy like almost hopeful peace about it. Johnny Cash - Hurt:
Not a song I listen to much. It’s so much more powerful than NIN’s version. I grew up listening to Johnny Cash “ring of fire” etc with her. We all hurt and it really gets you dark. “To see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real” so dramatic, but I have to say I don’t feel anything emotionally as deep as the grief. It’s what helps me feel alive maybe, something that brings me back to this life. “What have I become, my sweetest friend, everyone I know goes away in the end” We’re all born alone, and die alone at least on that passing moment when the ghost comes in and out. Follow Fate Under Fire: